G'day, I'm Jacob

I'm a widely read interpersonal bridge-builder.


I work as a ss(bounty-hunting)mm(Pay-on-results business model
This aligns incentives
in contrast with pay-by-the-hour.)ee relationship consultant.


Read on to sample my thoughts and projects.


What I do:

I take calls on a helpline for family issues.I offer 'pay-on-results' relationship therapy at Unconditional Therapy.

I participate in an ironically patriarchal community group who aim to challenge patriarchy. They're building a list of 20 Things Men Can Do.I drafted an alternative list.

I help organise the Melbourne community for Waking Up (meditation app)I'm a hobby photographer (Sony a7III 50mm).I like to read things that expand my perspective or shake up the way I experience the world.I play chess fast and loose. Challenge me.

What I don't:

drink alcohol.use social media.*identify with any particular political party.

*besides goodreads.


What I think:

People are motivated by 3 drives:
Autonomy, Connection, Competence.
Society should be set up to facilitate their realisation.


Everything is ss(causally determined)mm(Free-will is an illusion)ee.


We owe infinite gratitude to ancestors and fellow travellers for the privileges we so often take for granted.We're obligated to leave this world a better place than the world that we found.


Humans are ss(fundamentally 'good')mm(Anti-social behaviour is a desperate and
tragic expression of unmet needs)ee.


Empathy is meaningful in proportion to the differences between individuals.

Empathy comes easily toward ss(those who are aligned with us.)mm(friends, pets, loved-ones etc.)ee

We struggle to empathise with ss(others/opposition.)mm(anything we perceive as being different
in terms of interests, character etc.)ee


Who inspires me?

I admire the work of ss(Yuval Noah Harari:)mm(Sapiens, Nexus etc.)ee

I’m interested in maintaining robust democracy.
I worry how polarisation threatens social cohesion by undermining the open dialogue necessary for mutual understanding, constructive disagreement, and the finding of common ground.

I'm interested in resolving the tensions between trust and privacy online.

I am especially fascinated with the potential and risks of AI. I want to facilitate innovation of digital infrastructure with fine-tuned human-in-the-loop systems.

I enjoy building psychological bridges; helping people to expand their scope of empathy and to appreciate perspective diversity.



Say g'day:


Let's meet!

(function (C, A, L) { let p = function (a, ar) { a.q.push(ar); }; let d = C.document; C.Cal = C.Cal || function () { let cal = C.Cal; let ar = arguments; if (!cal.loaded) { cal.ns = {}; cal.q = cal.q || []; d.head.appendChild(d.createElement("script")).src = A; cal.loaded = true; } if (ar[0] === L) { const api = function () { p(api, arguments); }; const namespace = ar[1]; api.q = api.q || []; if(typeof namespace === "string"){cal.ns[namespace] = cal.ns[namespace] || api;p(cal.ns[namespace], ar);p(cal, ["initNamespace", namespace]);} else p(cal, ar); return;} p(cal, ar); }; })(window, "https://app.cal.com/embed/embed.js", "init"); Cal("init", "15min", {origin:"https://cal.com"}); Cal.ns["15min"]("inline", { elementOrSelector:"#my-cal-inline", config: {"layout":"month_view"}, calLink: "jacobv/15min", }); Cal.ns["15min"]("ui", {"cssVarsPerTheme":{"light":{"cal-brand":"#077318"},"dark":{"cal-brand":"#077318"}},"hideEventTypeDetails":false,"layout":"week_view"});

Books I've read

Join me on Goodreads